There's a strange phenomenon happening on the streets of Broughton. Pedestrians walk up to the traffic lights and they just stand there, motionless, in a mindless daze. They seem incapable of making that big step of pressing the button which would allow them to cross.
Present day, January 2014. The Left-Handed Tea Drinker marches up Broughton Street, looking like he’s got something to prove. He’s armed with a new weapon – an oversized pair of gloves – and as he marches towards the traffic lights, he pulls his gloves into place.
Why are local pedestrians incapable of crossing the road in a normal civilised manner? I thought Broughtonians were supposed to be inteligent types. Whereas it used to be common practice to push the button at the traffic lights and wait for the Green Man to show, now pedestrians seem reluctant to do anything but stand there passively.
Flashback, December 2013. The Left-Handed Tea Drinker opens a Christmas present from his mother. It is a pair of gloves but not just any gloves; they are slightly oversized, almost verging on novelty, like the ones that you find at American baseball matches. ‘Thanks, Mum,’ he sighs. ‘Just what I needed.’
I'm determined now more than ever to take action against this laziness. I'm going to show the world how to act. If I don't do it, who will? How will we ever cross roads again?
His great oversized hand swoops down upon the button and the Left-Handed Tea Drinker waits for the sign to light up. Those around stare at him in shock and awe. The old lady next to him looks at his mighty gloves and then looks at him.
She says ‘I’ve tried that already, dear. I think it’s broken. Those gloves look lovely and warm.’
Share your spare thoughts and Broughton misfortunes with the Left-Handed Tea Drinker at: thelefthandedteadrinker@gmail.com