New Council arrangements for refuse collection over the Festive period have been posted online.
We suggest there is fun for all the family to be had in getting a refreshed loved one to read out and explain the instructions after Christmas lunch.
For a fun-free and marginally more intelligible version, read on.
There will be no collections of green and food-waste bins on 25–6 December and 1–3 January. Collections will instead take place at weekends as follows:
- Sat. 22 December NOT Tues. 25 December
- Sun. 23 December NOT Wed. 26 December
- Sat. 29 December NOT Tues. 1 January
- Sun. 30 December NOT Wed. 2 January
- Sat. 5 January NOT Thurs. 3 January.
Except in the cases below, blue and red recycling buckets will be collected as normal:
- Sat. 22 December NOT Tues. 25 December
- Sat. 29 December NOT Tues. 1 January.
Collections of garden waste are suspended between 22 December and 6 January. And for those extra-large unwanted Christmas presents, there will be no special uplift service between 22 December and 7 January.
Unlike the alarmist Edinburgh Evening News, we do not suspect these arrangements will bring about the collapse of Western civilisation. We have every confidence in the commonsense of Broughton's citizenry, all of whom will, in any case, perish on Friday during the End of the World cataclysm foretold by Mayan makers of the Meso American Long Count Calendar.