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1 April

EVENING NEWS TO 'CHANGE TACK' SHOCK

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The Edinburgh Evening News will relaunch soon in a major 'change of tack', it was claimed today.

Senior management at owners Jonhston Press want to reverse nose-diving circulation figures and plummeting profits. But rather than produce fewer and fewer pages at greater cost with an ever-increasing number of low-brow human-interest stories, bosses have decided to head upmarket and cover the news more seriously.

LOCALS POOH-POOH BELLEVUE BIOMASS PROPOSAL

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It never rains but it poohs.

No sooner has Forth Ports's hugely controversial proposal for a biomass plant in Leith Docks been seen off than a new scheme enters the earliest stages of the Council's planning system – this time in Bellevue.

Edinburgh-based Tynecastle Sustainable Futures Ltd has entered ante-pre-application consultations with City Planning officials. They aim to instal a temporary 'micro-biomass' plant at the carpark adjacent to Broughton Primary School on Bellevue Road.

NEW WATER OF LEITH ARTWORKS MAKE WAVES

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A German-based artist plans to complete and install six original works along the Water of Leith sculpture trail this summer. But it is a development which one Broughton critic is already branding an 'affront to the people of Edinburgh'.

O.G. Gonflé – the 42-year-old Swiss post-redactionist and self-styled 'ideo-pole' now resident in Hamburg – has promised to commit up to half his 2010 Prix Oxygène award (€750,000) to the project, on condition that Creative Scotland provide match-funding.

LOCAL POOL CRIME – SPURTLE PICTURE EXCLUSIVE

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A Broughton pensioner has been robbed in broad daylight whilst inspecting refurbishment work at Glenogle Baths on 31 March.

Una Kwiecień (75), pictured exclusively by Spurtle in the seconds before the incident, was chatting to 'mystery bathers' brought in by Council officials to test new Winter Spa facilities prior to re-opening.

'One minute everything was grand,' said Mrs Kwiecień, 'the next minute my bag was lifted.'

A banana skin, half-sucked pandrops, and empty packet of roasted cashew nuts belonging to the victim were later recovered from the scene.